affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood

i was happy a moment ago, before i remembered
the fundamental truth—that i am alone,
and will always be alone, forever and ever.
i deserve this fate, i know a creature like me
is nothing more than a broken disfigured statue,
worthy of nothing but demolition, and yet
there’s tears spilling down my cheeks like a storm—
soft and gentle at first, then violent and ugly,
loud like thunder, pouring like rain.
i reach out for you, for that rush of happiness,
candy sweet and sugar poisonous, but
you pull away before i can latch on
and i’m left out in the hurricane to drown.