markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self

its quiet
those seconds, after
the echo of your shout
ringing in my ears
and in those moments i remember
i’m an evil fucked up abomination of a creature
unworthy of love unworthy of laughter unworthy of life
and for a brief moment i thought i was something more
but i’m nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing
nothing but a demon who eats and tears and destroys
the world would be better without a monster like me
and i know this i know this to be true
and yet i find myself saying
through tears of pain and anguish
don’t leave me
you hate me
and rightfully so
but please don’t leave me too